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All week I've felt like someone is watching me. Like in that movie déjàvu; you might recall the lady who always felt like somebody was watching her. Except in my case, I didn't feel any impending threat; just something cold, distant, and like a tremendous separation...or could it be abandonment! Then I realized it was me all along!
I've been observing myself slip away from the new me I'm intending to create. I'm out of town this week, in Salt Lake City for a conference. And my routine is totally off schedule! My daily reading has been sparse, I missed the Alliance's weekly digital webinar, as well as my blog post deadline. Also, my chore card exercises and SIT meditations aren't being done consistently. Attempts at my DMP revision has been…well, they haven't been. Need I say, it has taken a lot of energy to stay mindful of the lurking thoughts of 'failure' with developing my new habits. And, I had also gotten a bit ill from not eating well over the past several days. (I'm really inclined to think though, that the illness came mostly from the thoughts of 'failure'.)
Though I can reach out at any time, my Master Mind Alliance seems a million miles away! (Here it is again, that feeling of separation.)
However, I'm choosing to see all of this as something very good. And It's very liberating, being able to 'see myself'; see my trigger points where I tend to swing back into old norms. My consciousness gauge you might call it.
Whether it's good, bad, or whatever, I've decided to let myself off the hook for a moment to just breathe; relax my mind for a minute and release the choke hold I had around my own neck. Careful Empress, this could be a trick of the old programming! Yes, noted!
It's after 12 midnight here in Salt Lake and I'm going to sleep now…right after reading Scroll 1 that is!
Pics of Salt Lake City...
I am Empress Judith Smith, the conscious wealth creator. Through a generous scholarship into the MKE Master Mind Alliance course, I'm tapping into my Superpower - my subconscious mind - to create the life worthy of my dreams.
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